Shattered Illusions
by Yati
Summary: The last scene of disc 2 after the confrontation with Edea. Squall's POV. First fic ... so be nice. And I wrote this before finishing the game I didn't have the next disc at the time so forgive any inaccuracies ... [reuploaded]


Author's note: This take place at the end of disk 2 – after the confrontation with Edea and Seifer. Basically it's just a rehash of the last scene in Squall's POV.

Disclaimers: FINAL FANTASY, SQUARESOFT are registered trademarks of SQUARE CO., LTD.  All characters/places are not mine …. All familiar sounding dialogue also are obviously not mine …. 

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Shattered Illusions

a Final Fantasy VIII Fan Fiction

by Yati

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         Squall fell to his knees on the cold auditorium floor, barely noticing the others slowly making their way towards him, expecting him to guide them, to be their leader again. From the corner of his eye, he saw Zell sprawled on the floor, unconscious, or perhaps even dead, and Quistis swaying slightly, trying to stay upright. The former Instructor looked shaken, her calm exterior gone. Irvine was nervously scanning the dimly lit room, his shotgun wavering in his hands,  while Selphie was frantically trying to cure everyone's wounds by magic. To Squall, it seemed like she was the only one who was not completely exhausted. And Rinoa … where was she? She was somewhere behind them, out of his field of view, but he didn't dare turn.

         Edea had disappeared with a cry of rage, Seifer along with her. Squall stared at the spot where she had stood, not believing, not for the life of him, that this was the end. He remembered her rage too well, and the murderous look in Seifer's ice blue eyes, a look that had promised revenge.

         He tried to use his gunblade to prop himself upright, and the room seemed to give a sudden lurch. _This is no time to black out_, he thought furiously, even as darkness slowly crept into his field of vision. He gritted his teeth and forced the blackness away. Too much was at stake. Too much.

         Somewhere behind him, he heard Selphie cry out, fear in her usually cheerful voice. "Rinoa!" She sounded surprised and scared. "Rinoa! What are you doing!" Good old Selphie. Fear for others first as usual, never herself. Squall was only partly aware of Irvine reaching out to grasp Rinoa's arm, and the girl yanking it away with a strength she had not seemed to have possessed before.

         He saw, somewhere to the right, Quistis tilt her head, looking around the auditorium, perhaps expecting another wave of attacks. Her glance swept over the overhead podium, and whatever calm she had still possessed shattered. She raised her right hand to cover her mouth, and she took a step backwards, almost careening into Selphie.

         Selphie steadied her, and looked up herself. Her grass-green eyes widened, and Squall heard her say, in a voice not quite her own, "Oh no. Hyne protect us."

         He raised his eyes, and on the balcony, he saw Sorceress Edea standing there; tranquil, composed, and looking completely unharmed. Squall gave a barely audible sigh, knowing that there was no way, in his current condition, he could battle her and come out alive. He flickered a glance towards Zell, who seemed to be stirring, and Quistis who looked pale and shaken. Selphie looked more solemn than he had ever remembered seeing her, and Irvine's face – half-hidden by his hat, as always – held an expression of resignation … and sorrow. He was, after all, the one who had remembered her the longest.

         Squall felt, rather than saw, Rinoa step up beside him, and glancing at her, he saw that her face held a dreamy, almost entranced look. He tried to reach out to her, but she shook him off, causing him to lose his balance and fall to his knees again.

         Edea's dark-eyed gaze fell upon all of them, one by one. "Squall." He looked up, surprised at the sadness he heard in her voice. "Quistis. Selphie." Squall wanted to turn, wanted to see the others' reactions, but Edea's voice was mesmerizing. He continued to stare at her.

         "Irvine. Zell." She knew all of them, she _remembered_ all of them. She shook her head slowly, and the gesture struck Squall as very … human. Something he hadn't expected in the Sorceress.

         But in Matron?

         "You have grown so much … and have become so strong …." There was a tinge of wistfulness in her voice, coupled with slight surprise. Oddly enough, there was a note of pride as well. 

         "I have waited for this day to come." She sighed, a quiet, rustling sound. She seemed resigned. "And I had also feared for this day." Her eyes held his for a moment, and Squall found himself staring at her, trying to find, to remember, the woman who had cared for him as a child.

         "Is today a joyous day?

         "Or an odious day?"

         Edea's voice was soft, quiet. Almost as if she was talking to herself. Her eyes now held warmth, making her seem more human than ever. Squall felt his defences starting to crumble as the image of the omnipotent and evil sorceress was slowly changing into a woman he had only recently started to remember.

         She paused, and Squall let go of his gunblade, feeling disoriented and confused. His weapon fell with a clatter on the floor, yet no one seemed to have noticed. He remained kneeling on the floor, one hand on the cold tiles of the auditorium, willing himself not to keel over, not to pass out from sheer exhaustion and his wounds.

         Edea's next words pierced through his haze of pain, startling him.

         "Where is Ellone?" There was demand in her voice, as well as real concern.

_         Why do you want Ellone?_

         "Have I protected Ellone? Is she safe? Is Ellone safe?"

_         Safe?_ he wondered. _Why do you need her safe?_ _Why are you_ protecting _her?_

_         I don't understand._

         He saw in his mind, the young woman, Ellone, whom he had known as a child, yet he could not remember. The memory of her leaning towards him, in the library, and her soft, quiet whisper: "You're my _only_ hope."

_         Ellone … Sis …. I still don't understand._

         The colours of the auditorium seemed to mix and blur and he frantically clawed to cling on to consciousness, but to no avail. The blackness, blessed in its own way, consumed him, and he collapsed on the floor. The last thing he saw was Rinoa turning slightly to look at him, her beautiful eyes strangely vacant, and the last thing he heard was Selphie's frantic cry reverberating through the auditorium, calling out his name.

         "Squall!"

         He thought he felt soft hands gently touching him, whispering quiet, soothing words. He first thought of Sis, before realising where he was, and then he briefly wondered whether it was Rinoa, and he struggled to open his eyes.

         No … it wasn't Rinoa, because … there she was. _She's very pretty_, he thought, somewhat confusedly, with her almost translucent skin and the auburn highlights in her dark hair – and he was aghast that he could think of such a thing at such a time. 

         He watched as she walked towards Seifer, who was still lying unconscious on the floor … Seifer, his archenemy … saw her walk up to Seifer, and kneel before him, her blue dress the only bright point in the darkness.

_         Rinoa …._

         He saw her … as she gently took him into her arms, and cradled his head in her lap, and brought her face close to his.

_         Rinoa … Seifer …._

_         What the …_

         He blinked, and saw Seifer standing up, leaving Rinoa kneeling on the floor. To Squall, it seemed like Rinoa was beseeching him for something, arms outstretched, but Seifer simply turned and left. And suddenly, without warning, Rinoa collapsed, limp as a rag doll, facedown on the floor.

_         What the heck is going on?_

         Faintly, vaguely, he saw Quistis rushing towards Rinoa, alarm obvious on her features, and he heard Quistis ask, urgently, "Rinoa, are you all right?"

         The scene blurred, and he wondered if it was a dream.

         He heard Selphie's voice, unusually gentle, calling out to him. "Squall, please. You have to wake up."

         He struggled to awaken, and he heard Quistis voice, saying, more persistently, "Get up, Squall! We need you!"

         He heard Zell groan, and the part of him that still remembered that he was the leader, still responsible for all of them, thought, _Good. He's alive_, and he heard Irvine, his voice gruff, perhaps not used to giving comfort, telling Zell, "You're gonna be okay, man."

         He opened his eyes to see Rinoa sprawled before him, where he had seen her with Seifer. _She didn't …_

         She was lying very still, her face obscured by her long hair, and Quistis was kneeling beside her, gently turning her over. Squall's eyes strayed to the podium above … and he saw that it was empty.

_         What happened … she hadn't even been fighting …. How did she get hurt?_

         He dimly remembered her walking up to Seifer – and he wondered if that was real or part of his imagination. He couldn't set them apart anymore … dreams and reality, lies and truth. He tried to push himself up into a sitting position, and Quistis turned to him, her blue eyes wide.

         "Squall! It's Rinoa …."

         He didn't have the strength to speak. 

         _Rinoa? What's wrong with Rinoa?_

         Quistis had the younger girl's head cradled in her lap, very much like the way Rinoa had held Seifer moments ago. Her fingers rested on Rinoa's throat, and Quistis's eyes were no longer filled with fear – now they held desperation and something Squall had never seen in her before … mounting panic.  He watched as Quistis gently moved her fingers across Rinoa's cheek, brushing away a lock of black hair.

         "Squall … Rinoa's … Squall …."

         He didn't want to hear the rest. He closed his eyes, fighting the despair that was slowly filling his heart. He saw, in his mind, images of her from the first time they met – 

                  _Rinoa smiling at him, her dark eyes alight and full of life. _

_                  Rinoa's profile, achingly beautiful as she watched the shooting star pass by. _

_                  Rinoa's grace as she moved on the dance floor, in perfect synchrony with the music … and the beating of his heart._

_         That's what comes from caring_, he thought, bitterly. He had been right, right all along. He had been right to pretend aloofness, to act harsh, uncaring. _That was what comes from letting others into your life._

         He could hear Selphie's uneven, shallow breathing behind him, and he was aware of Irvine and Zell staggering towards them. He did not want to open his eyes.

         Why Rinoa? How did Rinoa fit into all of this?

         He slipped back into the blackness, thankful for it, for once.

Author's Note #2:

I know the sequence of events aren't exactly as in the game … sorry 'bout that. And Selphie seems out of character, for some reason (but surely she won't be going "Tee-hee!" at a time like this?), and  Zell and Irvine are doing absolutely nothing ….

I'll try to improve … this is my first fic … *dodges a tomato*  … ei … surely it's not that bad?

p/s : I'm re-uploading this for the second time – for some reason, this fic (and this one only) is constantly disappearing from my account  … is this happening to anyone else, or am I doing something wrong?


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